For some of us parenting maybe defined by our culture and norms. Some parents believe that they should bring up their kids just the same way they were raised. With all the pros and cons of their parents’ parenting style; they have a belief that they are perfectly normal so why not do the same with their children.
While this parenting theory may work perfectly fine with many, many parents; but how does it serve the child? Our world today is so dynamic that a child not brought up to have strong belief in their own self-worth and capabilities will not find a place to fill or a role to play in society at large and family at start.
As new parents with no parenting experience we get our first “what to do” “if this happens” from those around us. Be it our parents or friends with earlier parenting experience. These parenting experiences may sometimes seem logical and effective, while at other times some of us might feel pressured into parenting in a certain way that does not fit our parenting needs. We all want what’s best for our children and we must agree that it’s perfectly normal to have different ways to achieving that.
In order to parent in a proper way we must first understand a few things: society is evolving so rapidly and thus children are not seeing “models of submissiveness and obedience.” And children nowadays are having “fewer opportunities to learn responsibility and motivation.” And thus, it makes perfect sense to have children who want to express their opinions and to want to have choices. So instead of taking misbehaviors and turning them into power struggles, why not treat them with Positive Discipline.
Positive Discipline is simply establishing a respectable relationship with your child. You put down grounds for mutual respect by treating your child with total respect and expecting the same in return as well. Positive Discipline means that you give your child more freedom with limited choices and treat them with kindness and firmness. They get the freedom to make choices, that are limited by you and throughout all times you are treating your child with a kind and firm attitude.
Through Positive Discipline you learn to listen more to your child’s needs. To give them more room for independence and more time to grow. Children do so many things on their own and yet we choose to do things on their behalf. We interfere in almost all the single details of their day to day challenges. We want to help them eat, drink, dress and even the simplest things as tying a shoelace. It’s like we have this inner guilt that if we are not doing that than we are not good parents.
Truth is good parents allow their children to improve their skills, teach them independence and allow them to face challenges. Give them room for mistakes and disappointments. And teach them that it is okay to make mistakes, after all “mistakes are opportunities for learning.” We should aim to enhance our children’s perception skills. Connect with them before correcting their misbehaviors, and most importantly look at the reason behind the misbehavior, and look at it from the child’s perspective not our own.
Positive Discipline opens new gates to establishing long term relationships with our children, and help us raise productive influential individuals. Something we all hope for. So why not think Positive next time?
Co-founder of The Positive Parent
Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator from the Positive Discipline Association
For more information on upcoming workshops please contact us on: 50560097 or 97199106.